Fucking jokes
Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?
Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.
Fuck me.
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.
I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!
Memes
True as fuck
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,
Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?
Your forehead is so fucking big, I had to call an Uber to get across the eyebrows to your hairline.
I know it's bad, sorry.
Dino nuggets are kinda hot. Also, I want to fuck the brown M&M.
A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"
Dad said, "It is, Son."
Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"
Poop is yummy, fuck!
What does the mom (or terrorists, fuck that) say for the (twin) towers to eat?
Open wide, here comes the plane!
Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!
My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"
I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"
Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.
What do you call a fucked up mullet? A fullet.
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
Have you ever heard of sex? Because you just got fucked.
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"