Fucking jokes

What did Satin say to God??

"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"

Why do orphans like fucking other dads?

Because they get to have a daddy.

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.

Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.

Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Timmy: *starts crying*

Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.

If this pops up on your timeline, fuck you!

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

I AM FUCKING HAPPY AS HELL.

One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.

I fucked a wall.

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.

I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.

So I ended up doing the YMCA.

Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.

"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."

Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?

Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"