Fucking jokes

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

Anyone want to fuck? Cause my sisters are such cunts!

What did Satin say to God??

"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"

I fucked a wall.

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.

I AM FUCKING HAPPY AS HELL.

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.

Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!

Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.

Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

Does that neverending forehead of yours go all the way to Mars, holy fucking shit?

What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?

They both be fucking sugar daddies.

I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.

So I ended up doing the YMCA.

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

Every time French people greet me, they say "banjo."

Nga, I don't got no fucking banjo.

What is the difference between a zebra and a female NCO?

A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.