Fucking jokes

I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.

BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?

Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!

Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.

Does that neverending forehead of yours go all the way to Mars, holy fucking shit?

Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.

So I ended up doing the YMCA.

When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!

If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.

Have you ever heard of sex? Because you just got fucked.

"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"

Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!

Poop is yummy, fuck!

What does the mom (or terrorists, fuck that) say for the (twin) towers to eat?

Open wide, here comes the plane!

Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."

My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!

A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"

Dad said, "It is, Son."

Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"