Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks " what's that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey.
Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"
What did the penis say to the condom??
Cover me in going in
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says "what about the children" the rabbi says "fuck the children" and the Priest says "do you think we'll have time
Think about you are so fucking high that you walking to a lift and inside the lift are stairs 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The fuck you doing whit that knife
What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds ?
There's 20 of them.
A hot girls wants to do suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly smelly homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says "hey you hot babe, let's fuck. She just answers "get the fuck away you ugly bastard". The guy just laughs and says "alright i wait down there".
I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.
Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman? if a man is performing anilingus on a woman it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy you fucking idiot !!!!!
i remember last year all these biches called me lame so i stoped the simping and pretended i was gay, now i think theyre all fucking with me. im an L G B T Q imposter got cut last year know ive made the roster and you may think im a monester. im just just tryna see some titties.
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words
WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right? And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I'm positive. This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!" "Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potato's." *SMACK*! mother slapped mark. She then asked suzie, "what would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatos" said suzie *SMAACK*! she slapped suzie. "Ok. Johnny, what would you like to eat?" Well.... I sure as hell dont want no fucking potatos.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs, i replied "OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR FUCKING ARMS!"
Yesterday I was fucking my sister and she said' you fuck a lot like dad I said "really mum said that too."
I asked my midget neighbour if he wanted a lift. He told m to "Fuck of!!!"! I thought what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.
whoever took my anti-depressent pills
I hope your fucking happy
