Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

Fucking Memes

Anonymous

Allow me to assume please.

A drawing shows two people facing each other. The first person, on the left, asks "how are you?". The second person answers: "my pronouns are...", and the person on the right replies: "You have exactly 10 seconds to get the fuck out of my house."

MisterDussel

When the Lego set says 9-12Years but you finish it in 1 hour

A cartoon figure with a surprised face says, "excuse me what the fuck"

Advice

..

A text message exchange. One person asks, "busy later?", then asks, "free today?". The other person replies, "I have covid". The first person then responds, "oh fuck" and then writes, "lemme pound you w a mask on though".

Anonymous

I’m a professional 😉

A man is shown in five different panels. In the first panel, he is yelling: "WHY DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH HER?". The second panel shows another man, who responds: "SHE WAS LYING THERE NAKED, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!". In the third panel, the first man is yelling: "THE AUTOPSY, THE FUCKING AUTOPSY!". In the fourth panel, he is throwing a chair, and yelling: "DON'T TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB!". In the fifth panel, he is pointing and yelling: "YOU ARE THE WORST VET ON EARTH!"

Rockship2910

What happened to my screen...

The image shows a blue computer screen with a simple face made of parentheses, dots, and an underscore. Below the face are the words "I don't know WHAT the fuck is going on." This is followed by "Good luck searching for it online though." and "Here's a useless number that Google has no results for. Try Bing."

《 rmk 》

fucking detroit

A photo of a triceratops standing in a street at night. The text says: "Mann, I hate living in Detroit on god." It is circled in red.

XxxHackerxxX

Me when I am talking about my feelings my friends

A picture of Spongebob Squarepants with his arms raised and a rainbow behind him. The text on the image says: "Nobody gives a fuck."

DaRey1Cray

help pls find my dawg

A flyer with the text "I lost my bitchass dog again. He's ugly as fuck and keeps running away but I still love him, plus I already bought him shit and I don't wanna return the stuff. Please bring him back, his name is Señor Woofers. He probably won't respond to it cus he's a fake lil bitch though. Please contact me at 661-440-5950 or booteyeater6969@gmail.com. Reward: $5ish maybe." Below the text is a picture of a small dog with a brown wig.

blach66

The image shows a split view of a stylish bathroom. The left side shows a gold tissue dispenser and a gold flush button. The floor is blue with white specks. The toilet is white. The right side shows a silver tissue dispenser, a silver flush button, a white floor with light gray specks, and a white toilet. The walls are dark blue in both views. The text overlay reads: "Why is this toilet so f***ing stylish?"

Daddy dick

BEND YOUR FUCKING KNEE

A picture of Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones with the text 'When you're trying to get your toddler's legs into a one-piece pajama' above her and the text 'BEND THE KNEE' below her.

Anonymous

The image shows three aliens in the foreground with two UFOs in the background. The text says, "The aliens after arriving at Egypt, giving the blueprints of the pyramids to humans and just about to give them equipment when they start building it with their bare fucking hands."

Nintendo Fan

The image shows a split comparison. In the top half, a cruise ship is moving through calm water, and the text says, "Doing tutorial." In the bottom half, a person is struggling to stand on a paddleboard in the middle of the ocean, holding an umbrella for balance. The text above reads, "Whatever the fuck I'm trying to do on my own."

Heroin Monkey

aye dumbass your girl cheating on
you
I'm blind
oh shit
That fucking whore
Delivered

TheForeverVirgin

A screenshot of a Google search for 'nuke' shows the 'Shopping' tab highlighted. Below, Vault Boy from Fallout says "excuse me what the fuck."

Toast ツ

The image contains two posts from the anonymous image board 4chan. The first post is by someone who was released from prison after serving four years for a bank robbery, though they pled down to aggravated assault. They now wonder what to do for work besides drive a truck. The second post replies with a plan to start a youtube channel to critique bank robberies in video games, and eventually talk about prison life to get 350k subscribers and make more money than most people.

Manga fan

Meme:

The image shows a magician in the top half, who says, "And for my next trick I will disappear." The bottom half shows a close-up of the same man with a pear next to his face. The text says, "Fuck you pear, you taste like shit."

Fellow

A person wearing a hard hat and red clothes seems to be dancing. The text above the person reads "ENGINEER? Yeah I'm", and below reads "ENGI-NEARING MY FUCKING LIMIT".

Jonah Marshall

True as fuck

A photo shows a man and a young child lying on the floor, each holding a toy gun, with the text "Air Force" above and "weapons training" below them. There are a few other toy guns around them.

Heroin Monkey

Chri5

Wait a damn minute

A man looks thoughtfully at a treat on a stick. The text reads, "Nothing will fuck you up as much as the realization that there's no real reason the alphabet needs to be in order."

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