Intercourse jokes
What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
The pilot that hit the Pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole.
What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?
She charges you for extra sauce!
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?
An Oreo.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?" Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex?
"Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"
As a little boy, I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.
The next day my dad tells me, "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."
So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked, "Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy."
I have sex.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
Anal intercourse is for assholes.
Hey, you down to fuck?
No, I’m just down.
"Cummin in yo mama, cummin in yo mama."
F*** man, I just need a f***ing loli to walk all over me!
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”
What song is sung when conceiving?
"Let's Get Physical, Physical!"