New Fucking Jokes

My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!

"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."

My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.

My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.

I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.

Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...

...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."

To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"

Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.

Roses are red I love hot food if I was a bad bitch I'd wanna fuck me too

oh wait I am.

What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible joker sequel?

They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!

House parties are like Churches, there's always a underage kid getting fucked somewhere

What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?

Close the casket.

If someone licks your elbow... you wont feel it if you put your ear up to someone's leg you can hear them say "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

“ the dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife but his wife said no so he fucked his daughter”

What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?

Orthopediphilia

Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.

Ugh... I hate Anons so much, they're anonnying as fuck.

What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!