Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?
Friend: Don’t know?
Me: U STUPID!
Friend Jokes
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
Hey Sandy.
Run, bestie, run!
Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?
They always hang around.
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
Why can't orphans go to a friend's house?
Because they can't make themselves at home.
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".
My friends: "I dare you to go home."
When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Friend: Why?
Me: Because they don't have a mother or father's day.
