Friend jokes

My friend asks me what does "idk" mean. I said, "I dion't know." My friend says, "You mean I don't know." I said, "That's what I said!"

If you drop something, make your short friend get it.

Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.

Friend: What was the first?

Me: They- they weren't always orphans.

Friend: O-O

What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?

A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.

I don't know, my friend did it.

Dear Gwen and Prince,

Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.

So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(

If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.

If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.

What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?

"Ain't you got no cents?"

Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."

People's music when friends are around: *rock*

When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"

Me rn: "Yo yo yo, for pre-K I went to K.I.S.S. a school."

My friend: "What is K.I.S.M.A.?"

Me: "K.I.S.M.A. balls!"

When your friends [are] talking about sports:

Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁

Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱

Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀

I hate double standards.

Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”

Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.

Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?

Angela: His name is Kevin.

Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?

Angela: I don't know.

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?

He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”

Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.

The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...

My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.