Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
Friend Jokes
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
What does an emo kid say to his best friend?
"Let's hang out."
My classmate, Hailey Legacy.
I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.
I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."
I only have a few friends, like if you relate.
Based on a true story.
Your forehead and your hairline must be great friends, because they go way back.
My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?
Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."
LOL
There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."
I played Uno with my Mexican friend.
That bastard took all the green cards!
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.
Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.
What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”
Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!
My friend's mom: Why you bully me?
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
