Support jokes

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that.” Then I unplugged his life support.

When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, "You use way too much technology!" Jim then said, "No, YOU use too much technology!" and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.

Remember, if you are suffering from paranoia...

You are not alone.

I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.

I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.

It's called "spastics on elastics."

Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."

Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."

Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."

Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."

Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*

All my jokes are cries for help.

INCLUDING THIS ONE.

I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.

I apologize for my grammar.

Hey guys, I’m back, just wondering if anyone is still on this that wants me to make more.

Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."

My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."

When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."

The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.

Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?

Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!

What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."

What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?

"It will be over soon."

I made a website that helps orphans. Sadly, it doesn't have a homepage.

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."

Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"

Guy: "Yup"

Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"

Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"

Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.

He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.

We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)

Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."