Friend jokes

I played Uno with my Mexican friend.

That bastard took all the green cards!

Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.

Friend: Why?

Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.

Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.

Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.

Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

Hey Sandy.

My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!

Me: I need a good roast.

My friend: Take me!

Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣

Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?

They always hang around.

Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.

Why can't orphans go to a friend's house?

Because they can't make themselves at home.

It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.

He was a great vet.

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?

Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."

When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...

My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".

My friends: "I dare you to go home."

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?

Friend: Why?

Me: Because they don't have a mother or father's day.