Breakup jokes

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

I’m breaking up with you, bitch.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.

But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

Me: What's that sound?

Ex: What?

Me: Oh, it's the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!

My ex misses me, but her aim is getting better.

My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher? Because there was no chemistry...

Dear algebra,

I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.

My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........

IMAGINE!

So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.

Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.

Anyways, she cried lol.

Hey anime girl, I hope you know that Jayden is a boy and we got back together.

Hahahaha, you never had a chance, so hahahaha!

A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"

Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

What did the cell say when it was dividing?

"It's not you, it's me."

I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!

I got hit by a bus.

But the bus was my ex.

I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.

I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.