I love breakups, my ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
Hey there little Mister I’m dating your sister
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. I’m breaking up with you bitch.
"Hey, today was great."
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car."
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then?’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’
Boy: my girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her...
Off the nearby cliff
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheel chair, she'll come crawling back.
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, the comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
I used to date a girl named Ruth but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.
When you tell your Roblox girlfriend you’re breaking up with her and then 10 seconds later you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Me: My gf broke up with me yesterday and I had her wheel chair
Me: guess who came crawling right back
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
I dated a furry once The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah
My ex keeps missing me. But her aim is steadily improving....
