Breakup jokes
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.
I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
I’m breaking up with you, bitch.
Why did Stephen Hawking's girlfriend finish with him? Because he would never walk her home.
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.
Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?
Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??
Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢
"Gwen, I want my boyfriend back!"
Why did the booty break up with the fart?
It was just too much GASLIGHTING.
I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
I'd rather kiss a cactus than kiss you. Wanna know why?
Because at least I'd feel something with the cactus than I ever could with you.
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.