I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
Breakup Jokes
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
I’m breaking up with you, bitch.
"Hey, today was great."
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car."
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
A man wakes up from his operation, and the doctor says, "I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?"
The man says, "Bad," so the doctor says, "During the surgery, your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man."
The man says, "What’s the good then?" And the doctor says, "I’m picking her up at 7."
Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."
Off the nearby cliff.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
