They'll never do reverse cowgirl because you never turn your back on family
Mum: if your friend jumped of a cliff would you Me: oh yeah no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.
my mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge would you me: No Attack on titan music starts playing in my head
why do orphans hate dom toretto. because it's all about family
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife? Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my my other girlfriend.
I love my dog 🐕
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs? A: they are noticed for 13 years then left for noone to touch again.
in the new grinch the whos would say he stole christmest get him then the grinch said im a orphan that changes everything the whos said what would they do if max was a orphan
Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.
The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight’s armor.
The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.
The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.
And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
