I got more followers than Charli, because I brought a bottle of filtered water and food through Africa.
What did the lettuce say when she is popping the champagne?
My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."
What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.
Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.
Shitmate: You’re so shitable.
Me: Bring banana ice cream.
Shitmate: Never happening.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?
Panera fled.
Where is the best place to eat tacos?
In the Gulp of Mexico.
Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
Why did the chef go get the eggs? Because eggs are egg-tastic!
Jomama so dumb, she brung a spoon to the Super Bowl.
I hope you have to pull hard on a candy wrapper only for the bag to pop and have the candy fall on the floor.
Fred says, "Have you heard the rumor about butter?"
Bob says, "Umm no."
Fred then says, "Ah, okay then I won't spread it."
Boys eat Frito Bandito, but men eat Guido Bandito.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
Spinach
