Sauce jokes
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
What is the one sauce Germans avoid on their steak?
"Ajous".
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?
She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
What type of pizza did the twin towers order?
Plain.
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
Pizza Hut.
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
Hello, welcome to abortion pizza. Your loss is our sauce.
Why is a tomato red?
Because it saw the ranch dressing!
A black n***a crashes a neighborhood barbecue, bragging about his 'hood credentials' while hogging all the ribs and collard greens. The host calls him out, 'Yo, pay up or get out. Ain't no freebies here.' He laughs it off, 'Man, I run this block!' But the host's burly brother, who's been grilling the whole time, snarls, 'Wrong, fool. Time to settle the score.' He pins him against the picnic table, wraps a chain leash around his neck from the dog run, edges him with a vibrating basting brush slathered in hot sauce, and then plows his ass deep and hard, grunting, 'Now you're the main course, spicier than the jerk chicken!'
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.