I wrote a song about a tortilla yesterday, but it’s actually more of a rap.
Do you know Ligma?
Have fun rubbing those balls in your tomatoes!
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
Why do cannibals love sex? They can make their own food.
How is the world's fattest avocado called?
Niko
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
You're as tall as a giraffe.
Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:
"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."
😳
Guys, you need to ketchup with the time.
Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES desserts?
Ice Cream-E
What do you call a cannibal without any eyes? A cann-bal :)
