Food jokes
Why do squirrels love dick?
Because it produces nut.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!
Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?
He is waiting for his dad with the milk.
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasn't that funny. So I just snickered.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
Ur mom.
Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?
Because they have no family to share it with.
How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
What do you call a dog in China?
E10
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
What do you call an orange parrot? A carrot!
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!
So, I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies. I stole one, not noticing my mom was behind me.
So my mom said, "Put the cookie back, kid!" and I said I wasn't gonna eat it. Then she said, "Never mind, I'll get your father." So my mom said, "Honey, deal with your son; I'm going to the mall!" And my dad said, "Son, if you're not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!"
So he went into his room, and I heard the belt, and I was going to run, but I knew it would be worse. So he said, "This will be your punishment." As he was getting ready to hit me, I said, "Daddy, no, please, I wasn't gonna eat it!" But he said, "No, you won't change my mind, little boy!" Then he hit me. Thank you for reading! Stay healthy and stay safe in this time. Bye!!! Read more of my jokes; they'll probably be around the website!!
I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.