What's the difference between a bird and jam?
You can ham your cock in a bird, but you can't bird your cock in a jam.
Food Jokes
Why are mice bad singers?
They are very cheesy.
What's a gay person's favorite meal?
Meat with white sticky stuff.
Hey Jonny, you can buy a...
Pun o' chips at the store!
What is a nut that does magic?
A human that can turn into a nut!
My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.
A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.
When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.
A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.
The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
Why did the orphan like milk?
Because their parents went to get milk and never came back!
Orphans will eat toes for food.
My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?
It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.
Tonight I'll be eating freshly grown pork cutlets with a fresh juicy amount of Poké Balls.
Do you get what I am trying to poke out?
Where do you take your pig to karate?
The pork chop class!
I hate cereal, lol.
What I say when I eat cereal: "Ewww!"
What is a good nut?
A magic nut!
Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?
A: Open up its little legs.
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
What is 6 inches and has nuts?
A Snickers bar.
