Finance jokes
A Mario & Luigi joke.
What are the Mario bros' view on child support?
Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.
Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
Why was the fart on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.
One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."
"Give me 5 cents and I’ll grant you a wish."
Ok.
"Thank you, what is your wish?"
I wish for my 5 cents back.
Memes
What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?
The dollar store.
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback!
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.
Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman, because I can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
I just donated $100 to a blind children's charity, suck that no one will see it.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
Time for a Terraria joke.
What is a worm called when it is with a rich worm for his money?
A gold digger.
(play the game or watch some vids to understand)
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
A man entered the bank branch and asked the teller to withdraw his account balance. The teller debited his account and gave the man all his money. Then the man counted the money and asked the teller to deposit it back into his account.
The teller asked the man why he withdrew the money and deposited it back. Then the man replied, "I wanted to make sure all my money is safe and tallies with my records."
Lol