Finance jokes

What did the bank say to the person?

Bank you very much.

I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.

I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.

Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.

Why can’t orphans drink? Because they don’t have any money.

Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?

Now he's a bronze fish.

Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.

I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"

I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"

Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”

That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

We were so poor my dad would give me a penny not to eat supper.

I'd put it under my pillow and while I was sleeping, he would come in and take it. In the morning, he would holler at me for losing the penny.

A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.

I lost my job at the bank today. A lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Where do polar bears keep their money?

In a snowbank!

Why are you guys making fun of priests?

Because you have a suga daddy already.

I get paid more than $200 to $400 per hour for working online. I heard about this job 3 months ago, and after joining this, I have earned easily $30k from this without having online working skills. Simply give it a shot on the accompanying site...

Here is I started.............>> fixpay1.blogspot.com

How do women make you a millionaire?

When you're a billionaire.

I take debt of 25,000 euro. I spend 20,000 in charity, and 5000 euro are left. I pay the debt of 2000 euro and I have to pay now 23,000 euro to bank, and 3000 euro I have in profit, 23,000 +3000 >> 26000 ;)