The 30+ Best Finance Jokes

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.

How do woman make you a millionaire?

When your a billionaire.

My bank loves me.

They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.

Y did Steven hawking die he didn’t pay his electricity bills

The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick

Where do fish keep their money?

In a river-bank!

An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes. So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady. Like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance

What's the difference between $1 Million and Baby Teeth? I don't have $1 Million in my wallet.

Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?

Because they are really good at saving.

Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'Cause I'm in a great depression😎

Money and women are kind of the same thing for me it comes and goes very easily

What is the capital of Greece? -- About 10 dollars.

My mom and I went to a bank. hard to say i never heard of it. The name is "Addison Banks"

LOL

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says $30,000.

The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"