Finance

Finance Jokes

Balance

An old lady in the bank told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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  • Balance

    I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

    Company

    I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.

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  • Money

    Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."

    Banker

    I used to be a banker but I lost interest.

    Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.

    Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).

    Mom

    Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.

    Profit

    Jack and Jill went up the hill each with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with $2.50 and Jack came down smiling.

    Wallet

    A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮

    B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛

    Paycheck

    What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?

    You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.

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  • Rape

    If rape was about power, then my electric bill would be a positive balance.

    Lottery

    I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

    I now have $999,999.75.

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  • Payment

    If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

    Bank

    My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.