Comebacks when someone say: Bully: "Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic." Say: "At least its brighter than your future."
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
Joe mama so fat, she could not walk the stairs of heaven.
Credits: to my friend.
It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.
And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
(this is not mine credit goes to the grim joker)
What does a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make noise after you throw them
As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:
"Them slaves taking credit for everything."
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/
Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?
A: He could not use his mother's credit card.
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄
"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."
"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
Sam's mum is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought EastEnders finished!
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.
A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.
Why did the black lady give the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds?
Tax credit.
