Credit jokes

How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.

What's the best card in Clash Royale?

The Credit Card.

I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.

Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.

Sam's mum is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought EastEnders finished!

My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.

(Again, credits to my really funny friend)

As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:

"Them slaves taking credit for everything."

Credit to Burn in Hell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5a0jTc9S10

Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.

Joe mama so fat, she could not walk the stairs of heaven.

Credits: to my friend.

Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.

What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?

Panera fed.

Credit to RogueRobot for this one:

What does Panera sleep in?

Panera bed.

Bully (😏): Name 3 things you don't have.

Orphan named Kaiel (😔): Um... a dog... a doll... and a credit card.

Bully (😡): NO!

Orphan named Kaiel (😟): Sorry, what???

Bully (🤣): Parents. Family. And a home with people you love.

Why did the black lady give the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds?

Tax credit.

Gwen sassy: Hi here, my credit card. Don't get it wet, it is too much!

Unknown: Okay!

Gwen sassy: Man, I am late, can you move along! Much!

Unknown whispering: Sexy!

What do you call a rapper with bad credit?

Lil Borrow.

I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.

My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.

You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.

I'll shut up now.

How do you keep a bull from charging?

You take its credit card away.

So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.

My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.

"Can we at least give them one credit—for abiding the traffic laws?"