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My bank loves me.

They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.

My credit card is more declined the the love from my dad

(Credit to Meme Machine)

What’s the similarity between a 14-year-old girl and the fetus inside her? They’re both thinking, “Oh f..., mom is gonna kill me!”

do you like fish sticks

if you do you’re a gay fish

credits: janson jones

So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. Credit to Sans (undertale)

Q. Why can’t you run through a campground?

A. You can only raQ. Why can’t you run through a campground?

A. You can only ran, because it’s past tents.

(Credit: @punnstagram)

ran, because it’s past tents!!

How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.