New Finance Jokes

Alberta Premier Danielle Smith is in hot water for importing $49 million worth of Tylenol that medical facilities couldn't even use.

I have a few suggestions about what she can do with all that Tylenol.

Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.

Accounting Chapter 12: Long-term Liabilities (FULL TEXT)

Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!

It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.

And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.

If the government can print money,

Then why are we paying taxes?

Ever heard of the currency TNT?

All Arab economies are booming with so much TNT!

What do you call a rapper with bad credit?

Lil Borrow.

What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible Joker sequel?

They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!

We're gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill.

They’re draining the economy doooown!

They’ve spent our budget on weed

and lube to spill Jack’s seed.

They’ve ruined our wonderful town!

We're gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill.

They have no moralityyyy.

They’re spreading degeneracy.

We ain't what we used to be.

We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,

but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.

They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.

Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.

We’re gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill!

They’ve banked off buying boooze!

They’ll drink and sell the price

at the original times thrice.

Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.

We’re gonna have to kill

no good Jack and Jill.

Their kids’re in the business tooo!

They’re draining all our banks.

Give 'em well deserved spanks.

We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.

Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.

What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!

A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.

It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!

WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!

Why did the rapper go broke?

He kept dropping dimes.

What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?

Lil Teller.

I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.

My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.

Just give me my money (clap clap clap).

I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.

Why did the football player go to the bank?

To get his quarter back.

What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?

They both be fucking sugar daddies.

I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"