Finance jokes
Why did the rapper visit the bank?
To get his RHYME CHECK.
Why did the rapper go broke?
He kept dropping dimes.
"BlessedBrian must be a bank loan... because he has NO INTEREST."
What did the rapper say to the ATM?
"Show me the money, or I'll drop a BEAT!"
Was he under insurance claim?
I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?
If I had a dollar for every time someone did something stupid,
I would have approximately 7.8 Billion dollars.
What is it called when young sheep bet?
LAMbling.
(haven't uploaded yesterday cuz couldn't think of a joke)
What did 1 pay with at the store? A 1/4 ;)
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."
One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"
The other said, "Do you have that many?"
Your family is so cheap that they won't even pay for the child support to keep you.
I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"
I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."
She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.
What’s long and black?
The line at the unemployment office.
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.
Why do you go to the bank?
To get money.
When do you run from the bank?
When the cops come.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they can't put a house.
I lost my job at the bank today. A lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What is playing with you?
You're so poor, you only got 2 jokes.