What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.
Finance Jokes
Why do you go to the bank?
To get money.
When do you run from the bank?
When the cops come.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
I lost my job at the bank today. A lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they can't put a house.
Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some DEPOSITS of RHYMES.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Jay-Z and B.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
What time is it when you stand on a pile of money in the bank?
High interest!
What is playing with you?
Why did the rapper go to the bank? (Part 2)
To WITHDRAW some BEATS.
You're so poor, you only got 2 jokes.
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
How to get free robux: buy robux to make a game to get more robux.
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
What time does the man go to the bank?
8 AM.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... she had really bad balance.
I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.
