Feel jokes

Why did the skeleton want a friend?

Because she was feeling bonely.

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.

Are you feeling down? Because I wanna feel you up.

How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?

Clucky!

Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.

God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.

People of Earth: *running and screaming*

Santen: *to God* Really?

Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"

So that way they feel important.

Family all eating at the table.

Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."

Sister: "Stop the cap."

Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."

Dad laughed.

Stepmom storms out of the room.

In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.

It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.

Little Mickel was on a tree.

He fell down and hurt his knee.

He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.

I know you came here to feel good about yourself...

Why did Daveon go to the doctor?

Because he was feeling "Daveon" in the dumps.

You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.

I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.

What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?

I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.

- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...

- But?

- ...

How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?

Batter.

How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?

Skelesore.

Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.

Doctor: I see your point!