If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?
I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.
I must have raped a woman in a skip. She said she felt rubbish.
Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.
On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"
I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.
I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
If R. Kelly was a therapist:
14 year old: I hate my life.
R. Kelly: I feel you.
GOOD MORNING USA!!!! I GOT A FEELING THAT IVE SEEN A FUCKIN NlGGER TODAY!!!
When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.
Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?
Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?
Because they want to feel wanted.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
Why do orphans want to be criminals because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
A man and a child walk into the woods, the child turns to the man and says: "Mister, can we go home, it's getting late and I'm scared to walk home". The man turns to the child and says: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
