Feel Jokes

Family all eating at the table Brother: hmm I think I feel gold Sister: stop the cap Brother look under the table and says “ nope just a gold digger” Dad laughed Step mom storms out of the room

In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish. It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.

Patient: Doctor I feel like a needle Doctor: I see your point

How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up? Skelesore.

Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in %10 of their body.

Home Covid Test.

1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.

2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.

3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.

Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.

I am so nervous.

Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that's my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds "those are my headlights." He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down "daddy whats that?" The dad replies "that's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says "you can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see's them going at it he then yells "mommy turn on you're headlights daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*

This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something, SOMEONE will laugh. Say: This word isnt gonna be funny until i tell you, your probably not going to laugh. *your friend* whats the word? *you* finger *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not every one laughs, so dont feel bad if they dont. Also dont be surprized if you get put in jail for murder, because your going to kill someone with this.

feeling stressed? have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.

Dont you feel an empty feeling...

IN YOUR SKULL

Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone ask?

Because they want to feel wanted.

GOOD MORNING USA!!!! I GOT A FEELING THAT IVE SEEN A FUCKIN NlGGER TODAY!!!

Patient: doctor every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up what's wrong with me? Doctor: I don't know but your eyesight is perfect.

When I feel ugly I just look at my brother and get over it

if I was to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crummy"

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

I picked up a document and I started to feel cold. I looked down at the document and it read DRAFT.

If you get offended, leave, how did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No. You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke but the people that do this are.