I believe “Self-Babtism” is a nice way of saying “Failed Suicide Attempt”

What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self raising

What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it’s family?

A self-fie

I got in touch with my inner self today, it’s the last time I use 1 ply toilet roll

What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata

When you’re fucking your boss’s daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.

Why did the crumb cake isolate him self? He had a crumbling social life

I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon) found my self at the same stop.

What do you call an orphan fish? Self-ish

whats the difrence between hitler and you

one didnt keep posting on twiter about killing them selfs

What did one snow ❄️ man say to it self? My arm is broken

what type of flour do orphans use to bake with…? SELF RAISING FLOUR!

I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me. She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand. Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said That’s the last time I use ancestry.com

Steven hawking did not die he deleted him self

Your momma is so ugly that she went out as her self for halloween

Me: trys to scan self at walmart* i cant scan myself, wanna know why? Alfred: Why? Me: because im worthless… =)

Walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by him self and he looked like he needed a hand so i offered to help, he said this is not a big screen TV its a Kindle!!

Why did the little girl flush her self down the toilet ?? …<<<(((she wanted to join the Brownies)))>>>…

Why did people bully Steven Hawkins?

Because he couldn’t stand up for him self

Your at a buffet, you think your hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of your self, you get stuck looking at sides in the buffet, a roly poly gal you see in corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end, you go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slamed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she’s is tenderizing you for dinner.

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