Self Jokes

My friend: "Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny."

Me: "C'mon it's not that deep."

What do you call an emo a cappella group?

Self harmony.

I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."

I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.

What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.

One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.

After a minute, a boy stands up.

The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.

The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.

My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but thankfully, I turned myself around.

If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.

If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.

It isn't any of those if it's suicide.

What is an Emo’s favourite music element?

Self harmony.

Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?

Because every time they scan, it scans twice.

What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?

Two beeps went off.

I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.

Why did Hitler kill himself?

His gas bill was too high.

What's great about an emo pizza?

It cuts itself. Yay!

I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[

I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.

Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?

Alfred: Why?

Me: because I'm worthless... =)

Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!