That feeling when elbow surgery was yesterday.
My girlfriend sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with. roses are red violets are blue if you ever feel alone i'm always watching you
I’ve been munching away on these new tic tacs recently and honestly, they are really good. It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty tho, so it’s time to get some more!
If someone licks your elbow... you wont feel it if you put your ear up to someone's leg you can hear them say "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.
Why do people hate abortion jokes? It leaves you with an empty feeling inside
What's the difference between a cop and bacon?
Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good a Cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top
Feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.
They always start with two towers downed.
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters, I think he didn’t like it, because I challenged him to a no hands contest. He said but I don’t have any. He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook all they wanted was books but got magazines instead
Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says: 'Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up.' Man bursts into tears, says 'But doctor... I am Pagliacci.'
hi ii'm adopt and you guys hurt my feelings it is not god :(😔😞😔🥺 ii'm just a kid ii'm 7.
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
Motivational Quote for today: if you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...
Why did Daveon go to the doctor? Because he was feeling 'daveon' in the dumps.
Slade must be WiFi... because i’m not feeling a CONNECTION
I feel bad for the people who were born on April,1 Their life is a joke
SORRY TO HEAR YOU FEEL LIKE POO!
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
