Exercise jokes

Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!

1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.

If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.

I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.

Yo mama so fat, she needed cheat codes for Wii Fit!

You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?

All of them.

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

I got the joke from my brother.

What do we want? A cure for obesity.

When do we want it? After lunch.

Why don’t some couples go to the gym?

Because some relationships don’t work out.

Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.

Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:

1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps

How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?

They egg-xercise every day!

When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”

I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I walk 5 miles each day.

But today I ran OVER 5 miles... oops!

What do sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing, they fast.

No pine, no gain!

Run on a sandpaper floor-treadmill hybrid in a medium sized room for 24 hours. It will be fun!

What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?

Adolf Fit-ler.

Why did the man put himself on fire?

To BURN Calories.

Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?

'Cause it was two tired!