Exercise jokes
Yo mama is so unfamiliar with the gym, she calls it James.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?
Alps clear the mind! Haha.
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.
I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.
My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!
Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
What is a fat boy's favorite karate move?
A pork chop.
Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Why didn't the teddy bear want to go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.
I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I ran five miles today. I ran over 5 miles.