Exercise jokes
Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.
No pine, no gain!
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.
What is Uranus' favorite exercise? ... Hy knees.
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
What is the definition of suspicion? A: A nun doing squats in a cucumber field.
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
I keep getting ads about belly fat.
Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.
Kids changing the channel to Annie.
Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.
TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.
Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.
What is a fat boy's favorite karate move?
A pork chop.
Why did the bike fall over? Because I was too tired.
How do you know that Americans hate exercise?
9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.