The 30+ Best Gym Jokes

Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.

i told the emo girl that i bet shes jealous of the hanging lights in the gym

My arm: IM GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT

How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?

Go through the dumbbell door

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out

What is sprinkled around the pokemon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.

I asked the gym trainer what type of machine i should use to get the best looking women

He said the ATM outside

I asked the gym instructor

"can you teach me to do the splits?",

"How flexible are you?" He asked

"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him "Don't skip leg day."

Why do some couples go to the gym together? Because they want their relationship to work out.

A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says "Oh what chest!" " That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says "Oh what legs!'' He says "That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says "Why were you running?" She said I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."

What's the slogan for a muslim gym? Might in dynamite.

When your legs forget how to work after leg day *I can't climb the stairs* Michael Myers right behind me* Runs like I'm a track star*

A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says "doctor I have a confession". The doctor asks "what is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis". The doctor looks at her and asks "anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies "no, just a penis".

Why did the rapper go to the gym?

To work on his FLEX RHYMES

The boy ran in to the gym why?

Becouse he wanted to ketch-up with everyone also he he got pun-ish from his momster

Not a joke but theres no where else to post this , ( mainly this post is for the broke people w/o a gym ) . Did you know that the body can't tell if ur using weights? so lifting weights are optional . some beginner workouts W/O weights for like really weak ppls . 1. sit - up's 10 reps 2. push - up's 20 per reps 3. squat's 10 per reps 4. crunches 10 per reps

There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbells tables but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up. The manager then walked over to him, and asked "You're hogging the dumbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.

**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him ... everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing ... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market ... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?