Sport jokes
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!
What burns up a football stadium?
A football match.
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.
My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."
Why can't orphans sign up for sports?
They have to have a parent's signature.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home base.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
Why do orphans not play sport?
Because they need parents' permission.
Why don't some people have balls? Because they play soccer with them.
Why do orphans love playing baseball?
They can always run home.
Why do orphans love baseball?
Because it gives them a home to run to.
Do you wanna know why orphans don’t play baseball?
They don’t know what home is.
Ahhhhh shit! IT’S HUNTING SEASON y’all!
Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?
Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's cellmate.