Sport jokes

What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.

What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.

What burns up a football stadium?

A football match.

Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.

What do sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing, they fast.

I like dicks... sporting goods.

What is a cow's favorite water sport?

Ca-MOO-ing!

What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast.

What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?

Cross-country.

Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

Why can't Asians play cricket? They'll eat the bat.

What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.

What's a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.