What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? – The tea bag stays longer in a cup.

Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? – Because she always ran away from the ball.

Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? – The hockey player showers after 3 periods.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.

What’s a lesbian’s favorite sport? Dodgeball

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has you picture on it.’

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said.

The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop…”

What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?

Cross country.

What’s Al-Qaeda’s favorite sports team?

The New York Jets

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

WHAT BURNS UP A FOOTBALL STADIUM??? A FOOTBALL ’ MATCH ’

What do sprinters eat before a race? – Nothing, they fast.

Me: Cobain! Friend: No, dude, its Kobe. Me: why? Cobain didn’t miss his last shot.

What can you serve but never Eat. a volley ball

Where do find white people on a bench

• the NBA

What’s a Latino’s favorite sport? Lacrosse

What is a Mexicans favourite sport

Cross country

What is a cow’s favorite water sport?

Ca-MOO-ing

I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize why now she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her,but she was only able to give 50.

A man decides on a day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet and paws. “What is the matter with you?” the man thinks aloud. “Well, that’s how I was born, I’m actually a faulty parrot” says the bird. “Haha,” the man laughs, “it seems like that parrot understands what I’m saying and even answers!” “I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated,” says the bird. “Well, if you’re so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs.” “Well,” says the parrot, “it’s a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers.” “Wow, you really understand everything I say, do not you?” “Yes, yes,” replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport and philosophy and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you. " The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. “Sorry, I can not afford that.” “Psst,” whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you." The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says “Pssssssssssst” while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. “I do not know if I should tell you this,” says the parrot, “but it’s about your wife and the postman.” “What!?” says the man. “Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth.” “And then,” the man hisses, “What happened then?” “Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere.” “My God,” says the now furious man, “And what else did they do?” “Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down.” “And then, what happened, what else did they do?” the man screams . “No idea,” says the papgaai, “I got a boner and thundered off my stick …”