Exercise jokes

You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.

There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.

The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.

Run, bestie, run!

What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?

Adolf Fit-ler.

Lean.

Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."

What happens when animals do a squat?

It doesn't become pretty...

Walking is just running with extra steps.

I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.

Wow, you did 10 chin-ups? Was it 1 for each chin?

Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.

Walking's a chore, let alone crawling.

So I went to the gym and I found a hymn.

Yo mama is so unfamiliar with the gym, she calls it James.

What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?

Fat people jokes.

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:

Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

Yo mama's so fat, I run around her for exercise.

You're so fat that I run around you for exercise.

I did a walk.