Exercise jokes

Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?

A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.

You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.

There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.

The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.

I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.

Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.

Wow, you did 10 chin-ups? Was it 1 for each chin?

So I went to the gym and I found a hymn.

Lean.

Run, bestie, run!

Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."

What happens when animals do a squat?

It doesn't become pretty...

Walking is just running with extra steps.

Walking's a chore, let alone crawling.

Yo mama is so unfamiliar with the gym, she calls it James.

What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?

Fat people jokes.

At gym class today, my friend made this song:

🎵 I’m a Barbie girl, I am fantastic, my boobs are plastic!

What’s a rapper’s favorite EXERCISE?

Flexin’.

Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny

Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.

I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:

Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.