Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.
What is stronger than family?
The tree Paul Walker hit.
Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.”
“Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.
The Lego broke in half.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a uni cycle
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.
whats harder then steel . micheal jackson at a playground
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."
The day after Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.
There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.
News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestler's legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.
John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip.”
The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip.”
Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”
With heavy breath, John told him, “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”
“What???” Said the coach... “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified.”
“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls.”
Chuck Norris can make Minute Maid lemonade in 5 seconds.
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
If it's true what they say and I quote; "God never gives you more than you can handle"
Then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.
They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.
