Disease jokes
What’s the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking can't stand up for himself.
What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.
She literally died a crazy bitch.
What is long and not hairy?
The conga line in the cancer department.
I hate school
What role does a leper play in the theater?
Voldemort!
What's long and not very hairy?
The conga line at the cancer department.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
What did the blind, deaf, mentally handicapped orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already at stage four!
How do you get bubblegum out of your hair? Cancer.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
Snow White and the six Dwarfs, Sneezy was caught by covid-19 quarantine!
Health commercials be like:
Serious side effects can cause:
Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, cancer, diabetes, AIDS, chlamydia, lupus, Ebola, polio, leprosy, pulmonary edema, heart attack, heart failure, yellow fever, but worst of all, DEATH!
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.