Disease jokes
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
It's all fun and games until they start dancing.
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."
By a tweaker with AIDS.
I'd make a joke about epilepsy, but the computer started flashing.
I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
A few years ago I had a brush with cancer...
All of the bristles fell out!
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
How do sick Mexicans say hello?
"Ebola."
Chinese always proud of their principle in business.
The fact is only products they copy that go international, except for COVID.
You're so fat that you cause your heart to have panic attacks.
What do you call two Hispanics with Parkinson's disease?
Maracas.
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
What's ALS?
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.