Disease jokes
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"
A few years ago I had a brush with cancer...
All of the bristles fell out!
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
I'd make a joke about epilepsy, but the computer started flashing.
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.
A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
What's ALS?
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
What happened to the leper when he accidentally walked into the screen door?
He strained himself.
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."
By a tweaker with AIDS.
Have you heard about kids with AIDS?
It never gets old.
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the Covid-19 patients to stay positive.