Disease jokes
What can you catch but not throw?
A cold!
What happened to the leper when he accidentally walked into the screen door?
He strained himself.
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the Covid-19 patients to stay positive.
TDS? More like STDs.
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
Memes
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
How do sick Mexicans say hello?
"Ebola."
I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.
It's all fun and games until they start dancing.
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
You're so fat that you cause your heart to have panic attacks.
What do you call two Hispanics with Parkinson's disease?
Maracas.
Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.
But the cancer patients aren't.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?