Disease jokes
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
All countries will get Covid.
Except China, they got it right off the bat.
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
imagine
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
What's the difference between me and cancer?
Well, my dad couldn't beat cancer.
I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor says my days are numbered.
Now I'm terrified of airports.
As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
Q: What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
A: Leukemia.
Why do people shake cigarette boxes?
To wake up the cancer.
What did the girl get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What's the difference between a plane and a woman?
At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"
If you turn Down syndrome upside down, do they have Up syndrome now?
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.
Why didn't Biden get the virus?
He sniffed everyone!