Disease jokes
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.
Memes
Why didn't Biden get the virus?
He sniffed everyone!
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Social distancing.
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
Dark humor is like kids with cancer; they never get old.
Have you heard about the new Russian STD? Rottsmikokov.
He is helping world hunger by feeding cancer.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
What do people with cancer always want to watch?
"Finding Chemo."
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
A kid tell me he was gonna f**k my mom on Fortnite! So I told him I was gonna double pump his mom until she was wet like moisty meyers.
Like if you're not a gay.
Dislike if you're furry.
Repost if you HATE blacks.
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How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Why is Delta jealous?
Because Omicron took the final kill.