Disease jokes
Cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Someone unplugged the WiFi router.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
Read this and you're gay.
Depression has been entered into your body.
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
What did the doctor say to the orphan?
"I can't help you with cancer, I'm a family doctor!"
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
What’s the most common name for cancer patients?
Luke (leukemia)
Stephen Hawking has enough money to stand up, but can’t grab the money.
Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?
A: My dad didn't beat cancer...
There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok.
Covid be like, "I'm going to take your breath away."
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
My friend has ligma...
Lick ma balls!
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"