How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
Why is there no medication in Africa? Because doctors advised you don't take it on an empty stomach.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with a orangutan Monkeypox
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.
What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?
Shakespeare
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN’S JOKES are the disease
What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.
It’s called Finding Chemo.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
COVID-19 is like pasta.
Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
