Disease jokes

It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.

Yo mama so stupid, she made Patrick run away because he thought it was contagious! 🤣

What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?

There's no stage 5.

I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.

Still waiting on an answer.

If just Africa had more mosquito nets, millions of innocent mosquitoes could be saved from a horrible death of AIDS.

What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.

What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.

Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?

Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!

How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?

Doctor: I have bad news.

Man: What?

Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.

Man: Oh, no...

Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.

Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

Stephen Hawking's least favorite song is "I'm Still Standing."

That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.

If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.

If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.

Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?

No, well neither has he.

I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"

What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."

For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!

Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.

So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!

So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......

Fe fi foung better run and hide: Covid (really).