Disease jokes
That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.
If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
Memes
For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!
My family was like dinosaurs when they got COVID.
They both went extinct.
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
I have more STDs than Hicks has friends at the moment. I only have one.
Why did Stephen Hawking walk across the road? Oh wait...
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
Could it be ligma?
Ligma balls, daddy!
What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?
You get salmonella.
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!
What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?
Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.
Only if Africa have enough mosquito nets, the mosquitos will not die of AIDS.
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!