Fungus

Fungus jokes

Necrophilia

I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.

Mushroom

A mushroom walked into a pub.

He asked the bartender to give him a beer.

The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy."

The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"

  • 1
  • Lettuce

    "Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."

  • 2
  • Goat

    Goats are like mushrooms.

    If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.

  • 3
  • Mushroom

    So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."

    And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"

    Mushroom

    Why did the mushroom kill himself?

    Because he had a mushy life.

    My peepee small.

    Mushroom

    My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!

    How do you know it's full?

    Because there's not mushroom inside.

    Mushroom

    When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."

    Community

    Guys, for whatever reason, please do NOT use fly trap paper to wax your asshole!!!

    Today, I was trying to search around my house for some waxing paper because my intertwined lengthy asshole hairs created a humid environment to where sweat and fungus was able to be produced. Then, I looked in my father's garage and I was able to find a large sheet of waxing paper (or so I thought).

    The waxing paper was yellow for wh… Read more