Fungus jokes
What do you call a mushroom 🍄 with many friends?
A fungi.
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.
Why did the Mushroom get invited to so many parties?
He was a fungi!
A mushroom walked into a pub.
He asked the bartender to give him a beer.
The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy."
The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
I am like mushrooms. Nobody likes me, but everybody tolerates me.
I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
Goats are like mushrooms.
If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.
Why am I gay?
Because I like mushrooms.
Why did the mushroom get a new house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom!
Why did Karen leave me?
Because I was a mushroom.
So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."
And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"
What is the smallest room in the world?
A mushroom.
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!
How do you know it's full?
Because there's not mushroom inside.
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
There were 20 people in a box. There was not mushroom.
What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.
The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree." The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella." The walnut says, "I look like a brain." And the banana says, "Can we please change the subject?"
A mosquito with a Mario hat on flies on you saying, "It's-a me, Malario!"
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.