Disease jokes
What did the blind deaf orphan child get for Christmas?
cancer.
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"
A few years ago I had a brush with cancer...
All of the bristles fell out!
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
Memes
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
What's ALS?
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
Chinese always proud of their principle in business.
The fact is only products they copy that go international, except for COVID.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.
A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.
Have you heard about kids with AIDS?
It never gets old.
I'd make a joke about epilepsy, but the computer started flashing.
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."
By a tweaker with AIDS.
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!