Disease jokes

When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.

She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.

I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!

Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.

But the cancer patients aren't.

What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?

Stand-up comedy.

I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.

What do you call two Hispanics with Parkinson's disease?

Maracas.

It's all fun and games until they start dancing.

What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?

Motor disease.

You're so fat that you cause your heart to have panic attacks.

How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?

She lost her taste.

What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?

OJ couldn’t kill cancer.

What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?

Your mama is so nasty.

She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.

All countries will get Covid.

Except China, they got it right off the bat.

What's the difference between me and cancer?

Well, my dad couldn't beat cancer.

What do priests give children?

Syphilis.

Chinese always proud of their principle in business.

The fact is only products they copy that go international, except for COVID.

A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.

Have you heard about kids with AIDS?

It never gets old.

Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."

By a tweaker with AIDS.

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.