They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.
My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.
I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.
What do we want A cure for obesity When do we want it After lunch
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
you know I want an ADHD cure. when?
Squirrel
A midget had a disease and the cure was on the highest shelf
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
Did you know curing boredom is quite simple?
For instance, you could pretend to be an apple by tying a rope around your neck for a stem.
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
