Diet jokes
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
I don't joke about vegans. That would be tasteless...
I have no beef with them.
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.
I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.
Your mama is so fat.
She went on a diet and solved world hunger!
What do you get when you gobble down sweets?
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
Yo mama so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
If you are what you eat,
why is Jeffrey Dahmer white?
Your mum is so fat she eats all day!
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
Stephen, are you a vegetarian?
I am a vegetable.
Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!
Fat.
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.
Eat cockroaches.