Diet jokes
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.