Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.
As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.
While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!
Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
