Diet jokes
What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
I don't joke about vegans. That would be tasteless...
I have no beef with them.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.
As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.