Diet jokes
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?