Diet

Diet Jokes

Health

If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

Life

Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.

Banana

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Orphan

Why are orphans so skinny?

They never eat anything that is family size.

Cannibal

A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.

Weight

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.

People

Why are obese jokes so offensive?

Because fat people have enough on their plate.

Man

A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."

Friend

My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.

As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.

Store

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

Cannibal

Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?

On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!

Salad

Why did the transgender man only eat salad?

Because he was a "her" before.