Diet jokes
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Memes
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.
As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.