Store Jokes

The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.

I'm starting a clown shoe store. It's no small feat :oD

Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail? -- To the retail store!

I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store just to take me with him and scan my wrist.

I saw a robbery at the Apple store.

Am I an iWitness?

Whats the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store

Scan the wrist and you might get a discount

If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

Next: Inappropriate Jokes

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

If I went to walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.

What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have boys pants half off.

If prostitution had a tax exempt status and if a adult book store had a tax exempt status because of a glory hole churches would have to do something else to keep their tax exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business

An ugly arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.

The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins, Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"

The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice,"

Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.

What happed when the emo went through the self checkout two beeps went off.

What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for? campaign contribution to the Republican Party

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.

I was working in a IPhone store in Norwich, when an man came! He said "Give me hat-trick or i will destroy your store!" I said "No" and he started to smash phones! I imidiatelly screamed "Important game" and he disappeared! Shame on you penaldo for ruining my store! 😡😡