My grandfather has the heart of a lion… And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left?

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he’s stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

Why did the lion always lose at poker?

He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.

What did the panther say at the poker party? I’d be lion if I said I was a cheetah.

whats black white and read all over?

a zebra after a lion is full

My grandfather has the heart of a lion… and a lifetime ban form the zoo.

Why did the lion lose the race-because he was playing with a cheetah

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar, the man orders a beer one for him and one for the giraffe. After they finish their drinks the giraffe falls over and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door. The bartender says "Stop! you can’t leave that thing lying on the floor" The man says "Mate, that’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe".

My grand father had the heart of a lion,

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

I have the heart of a lion and a life time ban at the New York zoo.

Q: How did we learn cats don’t land on their feet?

A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King

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