Diet jokes
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
I went to McDonald's to get a Big Mac. It was for his mom cause she was too fat.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
What do squats eat? Numbers.
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
"Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake."
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Is it still called beef if two vegetarians are arguing?
What do Asian people eat?
Rice.
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”