Diet jokes
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
What do you get when you gobble down sweets?
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
They eat the bat.
Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
What do you call a retarded cow?
Vegan (vegetable).
Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?
A. The Hunger Games.
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."