Diet jokes
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
What do you get when you gobble down sweets?
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
They eat the bat.
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
What do you call a retarded cow?
Vegan (vegetable).
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
Once I ate a table... it was food consuming.
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
Why does my mum eat carrots?