Diet jokes
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
What do you get when you gobble down sweets?
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
They eat the bat.
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
What do you call a retarded cow?
Vegan (vegetable).
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
Why does my mum eat carrots?
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.