Diet jokes
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.
Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
How do people eat bread?
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
Your mum eats cabbage.
Fat.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
I love vegans because they save more meat for us.