Bacon

Bacon Jokes

Homework

Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?

Students: Eggs.

Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?

Kids: Bacon.

Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?

Kids: Homework.

Lgbt

Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.

He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."

Cookie

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Pig

What do you say when you see a pig making bread?

He's bacon.

Breakfast

The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.

(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.

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  • Homework

    What does a chicken give you?

    Student: Meat.

    What does a pig give you?

    Student: Bacon.

    What does a fat cow give you?

    Student: Homework.

    Homework

    So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:

    Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?

    Student: PIGS!

    Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?

    Student: SHEEP!

    Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.

    Student: IK where that comes from!

    A FAT COW! 😂😂

    Morning

    One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.

    The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.

    Cow

    Teacher: What does a pig give you?

    Little Johnny: Bacon.

    Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

    Little Johnny: Wool.

    Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

    Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."

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  • Cookie

    Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.

    1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?

    2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?

    Picnic

    Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.

    Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."

    Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."

    Cure

    Smoking will kill you.

    Bacon will kill you.

    But, smoking bacon will cure it!

    Egg

    Q: What did the egg do when the bacon told it a joke?

    A: It cracked up!

    Cop

    What's the difference between a cop and bacon?

    Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.