Sweet Jokes

Collin

on a date me - "I get to work with animals all day" her - "How sweet! What do you do?" me - “I’m a butcher.”

8
Alabama Boy

So I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING

4
Anonymous
in Puns

My friend gave me sugar for my birthday, she thought it was cheap I thought it was pretty sweet

Anonymous

at a date : he: i work with animals everyday me: oh how sweet!what do you do? he:I’m a butcher

2
Whoozy Guy87

There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl’s house. When he got there, he said to her father “thank you for this moment, have a great night”. At the dance, the girl asks the boy, “can I have some food?” He gladly replies “yes” and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, “thank you so much, I really needed something to eat”. Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, “thank you SOOOO much” Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, “what is it?” She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.

7

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that’s so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?

geust

FIRST DATE

man: i work with animals every day woman: oh how sweet! what is it that you do? man: im a butcher…

DonMomo
in Fat

I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning

When I see lover’s names carved on a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet. I just think it’s surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

YEEYEEMUTHERF...ER

Name Something you practiced kissing on as a kid.

Sister SWEET HOME ALABAMA

Anonymous

Sometimes i wish my gf was here that way we could have some fun in my bed, the I realize she’s right across the hall. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA)!!

Daniel King
in Sugar

Why did the silly girl 👧 put sugar under her pillow?

She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂

Nicholas

what do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse

Answer: sweet and spicy chicken

Jaylyn

What is the difference between you’re girlfriend and you’re sister

There both sweet home Alabama

insta @miles_manilay

so I was at home and I went to take a shower and I accidentaly walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later I needed my headphones to listen to music so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our House only has one bathroom sweet home alabama

Anonymous

Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!

A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding… …the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.

“My sweet,” she said, “you’re now a woman. I’m so proud. Some advice for you now that you’re married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you’re making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you ‘turn around,’ if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes.”

The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to ‘turn around.’

They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to ‘turn around.’

Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to ‘turn around.’ This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth…

Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, “Honey, we’ve been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could ‘turn around,’ if you know what I mean.”

She replied, emphatically,“No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!”

Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, “That’s all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?”

Daniel King
in Fruit

Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?

So it could have sweet dreams.

First date be like:

Me: I work with animals every day.

Her: Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?

Me: I’m a butcher.

Anonymous
in Woman

Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don’t like it, but you still eat it.