If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
Sweet Jokes
Why do bees have sticky hair? They always use honeycombs.
So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.
(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.
Best friend: Dude, your sister is hot, I'd hit that.
Me: Already did. SWEET HOME ALABAMA
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
What's the difference between a baby and a sweet potato? About 140 calories.
Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.
She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"
So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.
Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
Sometimes I wish my gf was here, that way we could have some fun in my bed. Then I realize she's right across the hall. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA)!!
What do you call a bee’s love?
Honey.
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!