Diet jokes
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
Once I ate a table... it was food consuming.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
Why can't lesbians wear makeup while on a diet?
Because they can't eat Jenny Craig while Mary Kay is sitting on their face.
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
Your mum eats cabbage.
Adin, you should consider eating pencil lead, you fat cat lover, only if you're the new Adin from FF though xoxo da babby.