Diet

Diet Jokes

Friend

My diet:

Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...

Mama

Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.

Scooter

The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.

Pizza

What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?

Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.

Starter

Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?

Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.

Insult

Adin, you should consider eating pencil lead, you fat cat lover, only if you're the new Adin from FF though xoxo da babby.

Mother

Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.

Trans

If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

Vegetable

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?

Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.

Butt

Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.

People

Why are skinny people skinny?

Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.