Diet jokes
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
Why can't lesbians wear makeup while on a diet?
Because they can't eat Jenny Craig while Mary Kay is sitting on their face.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
Your mum eats cabbage.
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
Adin, you should consider eating pencil lead, you fat cat lover, only if you're the new Adin from FF though xoxo da babby.
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?